My Problem

[noahchenhalls]

(my first post, here goes...)

I feel the faults begin
To choke this life within
Or maybe it's hope coming in
To remove the wrong within
At any rate, Anyway

I've felt off for far too long
Even though the Hope's come and gone
I think there's a couple things wrong
I want them fixed and I want them gone
At any rate, Anyway

(chorus)
Part of the problem is you
The other part is me
Part of the problem is placing blame
And not submitting
Not returning
Not repenting
Not forgiving
Not Nothin'

I know that I pretend
That these things don't need to end
I call evil a friend
And friendships are hard to end
At any rate, Anyway

I pretend that it's all vague
Specifics plague
My head, my arms, my legs
Maybe I'd stop if God gave me a plague
At rate, At any cost
Anyway, Anyday

(chorus)
Part of the problem is you
The other part is me
Part of the problem is placing blame
And not submitting
Not returning
Not repenting
Not forgiving
Not Nothin'

The other problem is these walls
Snuffing out it's own calls
Trading for my origin these painted walls
Bright colors all over the walls
At any rate, Anyway

Maybe I'd fix my problem if you'd fix yours
Maybe others have my problem, too

(chorus)
Part of the problem is you
The other part is me
Part of the problem is placing blame
And not submitting
Not returning
Not repenting
Not forgiving
Not Nothin'

[Lady Arduriel]

welcome to AC, noah, enjoy your stay here...and wow. Great song. I like your use of alliteration (like Anyway, Anyday). It helps the lyrics flow and the reader to find the rythym. Awesomeness.*peace*

[noahchenhalls]

Thank you. You're very kind.

[dreammagic]

Welcome to AC and this forum from me, too.

You've got some good alliteration, as Lady said, and also rhyming here. Little repetitions help too. A good AC debut - looking forward to seeing more of you in this forum.

Phil, Forum Admin

[Lyly]

A big warm fuzzy AC welcome from me too!! This is a good solid song and I enjoyed the read. If I had to choose one thing to change, just for the sake of critique, it would be the double use of "plague" so close to each other. Personally, I like the double meaning, they're just so close to each other. Again, liked this song, glad you posted, and I hope to see more! - Lyly

[noahchenhalls]

I thought about that when I wrote it, but the word "plague" seems to fit the most in both instances (at least in my head), while still rhyming. Thank you all for reading.

[dadkins]

Hey man. Good stuff you have there. Very good stuff.

[turpentine soup]

nice lyrics :)
welcome to ac! have fun, always.

-turps

[Brittney L]

Welcome to AC, and to Lyrics!
I agree with Phil, a very nice debut from you.

I like the lines "At any rate, anyway"
they speak loudly almost as if you are excusing yourself from what you've just said, but you keep going back to it which says a lot.

Part of the problem is you
The other part is me
Part of the problem is placing blame
And not submitting
Not returning
Not repenting
Not forgiving
Not Nothin'

This is promising. Especially your first few lines.

I like what you have here. Come back and visit us ;)

Britt

[pure fires]

I miss Amnesty. Maybe we could play again, someday...when all things are made new, and our problems are forgiven and repented of.
-Nic