these scars

[Lady Arduriel]

these scars
burning on my skin
are only half of who I am
living with my broken heart
these scars
children of my pain
are the marks of the tears
hidden by my dry, dry eyes

they aren't worth too much
but they mean a lot to me
my souvenirs from hell and back
where I'll never go again

leave me
waiting in the shadows
to mourn my scars in peace
forget my life with such cold ease
take me
to this place you've mentioned
where the sun is never hidden
and tears are tears of joy

these scars don't mean much
but my demise to you
so promise me you'll take me back
my life or death to choose

these scars
are my cry to you
I have no voice anymore
and my store of words is poor
these scars
are all I have to give
currency of fallacy
that brought me down too soon

so take me
leave my scars behind
take me far from here...

[Lyly]

Good opening and ending lines..."take me/to this place you've mentioned/where the sun is never hidden/and tears are tears of joy" love that part. Bien- Lyly

[Brittney L]

Lady A,
you bring the reader (listener) in here with the pain that you write about
"these scars
children of my pain
are the marks of the tears"
You used the center line well here in order to describe your scars as "children"-a lot can be said about that line and it brings the song out so much more. To me, it shows how close to the hurt you are both emotionally and physically.

"these scars don't mean much
but my demise to you"
woah. That's some heavy duty stuff there. What a tug on the emotions. At this point I wasn't sure whether to feel sympathy or be angry toward the person you were speaking to. Nice job!

You have a great talent in that you can really pull someone into the things you are writing and almost force them to understand you. A wonderful quality that not many people have.

Nice one.
Britt
:cool:

[Lady Arduriel]

Lyly, Brit, I really appreciate your comments. This song is an extremely personal one, and the fact that ppl like it so much means more to me than I know how to explain.