She tempts him

[frosty_gurl02]

Some days I feel disgusted that I am a woman. Staring obtrusively at my reflection, I want to vomit. I feel inferior to the men whom have touched me. They have left their mark, and it has turned to abhorrence. I’m peeling like a bandage, I’m hurting, I’m not healing. I can no longer take pleasure in this skin without feeling their thorns and their teeth. Savagely clawing, I am a garden of guilt, my knees sore from kneeling.

But other days I won’t be defeated. I will rejoice in the fact that I have fallopian tubes tucked away somewhere connected to a uterus. We are a machine and we can’t be broken. We are a diagram handed out to the class. We drink our tea and gossip about other body parts, especially that stubborn clitoris. Dependent on each other, They remind me who I am.

I should go get my fingernails manicured, just so that I have something pretty to look at while trying to dig out this mess.

[TorturedJester]

Nice. I loved the part about being a woman with folopian tubes and a daiphram. I loved the title also;) This was pretty cool,with some nice vivid images.zack da torturedjester

[tony schofield]

"Diagram" she said GT, "diagram". Sheesh, with some folk spelling things properly is a waste of time! They read what they want to into it. Have to say - being a bloke, that this is somewhat alien stuff to me, but this girlie stuff was never aimed at my gender to start with, apart from the admonishment for lack of respect that's implicit in the first paragraph. Two other things did come through to me however.
Firstly is the thing about victims feeling guilty - which is true of both sexes. Inappropriate and illogical in the extreme, but try as one might, one cannot talk oneself out of it.
Secondly, I love the idea of you rejoicing in your femininity. I get sick of folk saying that they're "proud" to be male, female, British, black, or anything else that they're not actually responsible for. It's not something they've achieved, and so pride is inappropriate. Whatever we are is a privilege, and to rejoice in it displays so much insight into the true nature of life imo.
The title? OK, but could possibly attract the wrong kind of reader, who neither understands nor desires to understand what you're trying to say. (could include me ;))

tony

[TorturedJester]

My bad Tony and Frosty, I think that was my own fruedian minslip from the time it took to scroll down. I did get the message and think the title is great. Whatever gets their attention.peace.zack

[frosty_gurl02]

Originally posted by tony schofield
I get sick of folk saying that they're "proud" to be male, female, British, black, or anything else that they're not actually responsible for. It's not something they've achieved, and so pride is inappropriate. Whatever we are is a privilege, and to rejoice in it displays so much insight into the true nature of life imo.

You know what, you are so right. I have never thought of it like that before.

and Ghostrain... if I hadn't of written this, I probably would have made the same mistake. Diaphram seems equally fitting.

[Joe]

I concur with RoseMarie on the title, well subject line aspect and I would ask you change the subject line. Can leave the title as it is in the message body. (Subject line can usually be edited by thread starter by editing initial post, if have problems let me or a forum moderator know).

Overall it's a really good and powerful piece Frosty. Only thing I might suggest in the way of change is *surprise, surprise* the title. Bare in the mind the following is all just my personal opinion and not an AC administrative one at all. While the title may grab some attention and thereby get some to read I think it almost does a disservice to the actual piece. For one it seems to send the opposite message of what the piece is really about. Perhaps that's just me. I don't know. Secondly, in a forum or messageboard environment the title seems like it may lead some to make suggestive or sexual explicit remarks in return. Digressing... from an official capacity that's not a good thing, but even from a non-official standpoint I can't believe you might want that no? Could be wrong.

[frosty_gurl02]

I see nothing wrong or offensive about masturbation. However, I will change the subject line for the sake of the message board. I do appreciate you feedback though concerning the title.

I personally can not change a title once I have given it to a particular piece. The new one will never feel as appropriate (to myself) as the original.

[Joe]

Thanks. No masturbation in general isn't offensive and certainly not wrong. Of course posting specifics or highly suggestive comments about such though aren't exactly appropriate in public forums however. Just thought the actual title had a bit too much of a sexually suggestive nature to it, which might be a bit questionable given have much younger site visitors/users. Certainly rather not even consider having to move a creative work or thread to Back Bar merely due solely to the subject line.