Time Has Passed

[lindsay730]

There once was a time, when in the morning I'd find,
Nothing but the tainted thought of you on my mind.
And when I'd stand in the shower, the memories would flow.
Of how we had stood there together so many times before.

But now time has passed, and I no longer feel the need.
To roll your memory out of bed and carry it along with me.

Because Im okay.
And I'll shout it out loud.
I'm relying on myself from now on
So I'll never be let down.
Im okay.

There once was a time, when I'd sleep just to dream.
So that once I would open my eyes, things would be back to normalcy.
And no matter how many times I woke up dissatisfied,
I'd just slam my eyes back shut and give it another try.

But now time has passed, and my dependency is through.
I no longer need anyone but myself to answer to.

Because Im okay.
And I'll shout it out loud.
I'm relying on myself from now on
So I'll never be let down.
Im okay.

Now time has passed and I'm okay...
Now time has passed and I'm okay...
I'm okay...




I wanted to write a song on here sooner but I've been going through some writer's cramp. My chorus still doesn't feel right but I can't really find something better that suits it. Suggestions?

[Lyly]

lindsay, urgh, writers cramp is such a pain! It seems to me that you are well over it however, or at least very well on your way to being over it. As to your chorus, it is certainly simpler than your other stanzas but in some respects maybe that's how it should be...it summarizes the basic message in this song. Really disecting the chorus- I would say that the second line is probably the weakest...I've thought about it and I think it is mainly that way because it is not present tense, "I'll be" = I will be, which is indicative that you still aren't even though the rest of the song does say that you are okay. Whereas, the line "I'm relying on myself from now on" is much more powerful and stuck in my head more because of that, the present tense. And the "I'll" in the line right after that works because you are just explaining why you are "relying on yourself." I hope that was helpful.
Now, on another note, there are lines in here that absolutely kick...particular favorites of mine are:"But now time has passed, and I no longer feel the need/To roll your memory out of bed and carry it along with me" & "And no matter how many times I woke up dissatisfied,
I'd just slam my eyes back shut and give it another try" I love the slamming of the eyes! You have a good opening too, really got my attention, I wanted to keep reading! Overall, I really enjoyed this song. Hope to see more from you. - Lyly

[lindsay730]

Hey Lyly. Thanks for the suggestion. however, I don't really know what you mean. lol Please explain.
And I'm glad you liked those two lines...those two were my favs too. :) Have a good one.