View Full Version : One Too Many

01-26-2004, 05:46 PM
Do you take a simple pleasure,
In your blinding ignorance,
Of something that is facing you
Directly in the eye?

For someone who claims
He will always be there,
Someone who will listen, comfort.
You lack what you once had.

Do you always take for granted
A friendship, a lover?
They are fleeting needs that will fade...
They've had their moment of your time.

I won't wait much longer.
I'll come banging on your door.
Make you realise who, what, you are.
What you've done to me.

It has been more than once
That a heart has been broken by your hands,
Far too many times,
It has been mine.

01-27-2004, 03:37 AM
this was a very passionate piece...moved me right along with a steady beat. I loved it. I really loved that last line....knew a guy like that...write about him once in a while....wierd how they linger. Must be those shards of brokeness poking us in the ribs:)~Dandy

01-27-2004, 06:19 PM
Yes, Dandy, it's damn annoying how they linger. They just can't take a subtle hint. :D I'm still trying to get the rest of that glass out. Gonna have to get a pair of tweezers to get out the rest...if I wanted to ;) I'm sure "C" doesn't view it like that. Heehee.

Moonshine x

01-29-2004, 11:15 PM
Sounds like you're talking about the Dud...? Sounds like you're pissed off at him, again (well, there's a surprise now!). I really like the emotional flow of this one. And the last stanza really makes the statement stick. Presence

02-01-2004, 09:40 AM
Sounds like? You know better! But this is an old one, again, so it's an old pissed off feeling that mingles with old hurts. I think I must have been seriously pissed off at him at the time, fed up of him simply not seeing what was directly in front of his face. Well, I got to tell him, and only time will tell. I haven't sent him this one, tho... I don't think I will!:D

Your sister,
Moonshine x

02-02-2004, 01:12 AM
I love the emotions with which this was written. Some people just think only of their own feelings, and they are best shunned. Sounds like you have them figured out my friend. Excellent poem iblieve

02-02-2004, 06:16 PM
Thank you, Iblieve, for reading this and commenting. At that particular point in time, I think I was just really starting to comprehend how I felt about this person. By comprehending, I mean that I didn't just simply care for him as a friend, but a lot more. This was written about a year before I headed to New Orleans, with my personal mission being that I was going to figure out where my heart stood. I did, and I somehow managed to find the courage to tell him, but now all I can do is wait. So, yeah, now I have my feelings figured out, it's just his.

Moonshine x

02-04-2004, 03:34 PM
exelent work. like dandy said, they linger, weather we want them to or not. beautiful...passionate...good work.

02-07-2004, 10:47 AM
Thank you Teary, for taking the time to read this and comment. It's greatly appreciated.

Moonshine x