thorazine
02-22-2004, 01:39 PM
why do i always trust you? do i see something in you aside from this evil person that even you admit?
i expect the best from you-maybe because i know you are an intelligent guy-doctors, friends, peers, even lawyers have told me i need to not trust you-i need to look at the big picture and stop looking at this painted picture i have of you in my head-so ive been slowly unveiling your picture that i put away a few years ago, covered and out of view-lately ive been pulling the cover away bit by bit scared as to whats underneath-finally i uncovered it and you know what the painting looks like now?
its the painting i made of you when we met but changed-its blackened not from fire or anything but from disease-you are all alone which is different from the original as you did have your family and me and kayla with you-the old painting you looked happy, the edges were curling and dark but the rest was very beautiful-
the painting now reeks of apathy, cruelty, and laughter-hollow laughter-you are dressed very nicely and have a half smile on your face-this smile is fake-it is only there as a relic of the past when your smile actually meant something and was true-the edges now are torn and the frame is missing-
the canvas is curling not inward on itself but outward, as though it too is trying to escape its own image-
i know you are still in there-i know the painting can change yet again like everything else-i know it will never go back to its original state but i hope it can change to something happier and not so awful to look at-
i will cover it up again and maybe in the distant future i will unveil it and there will be you and kayla and everyone close to you standing next to you again-and your smile wont be forced, it will be genuine-
i expect the best from you-maybe because i know you are an intelligent guy-doctors, friends, peers, even lawyers have told me i need to not trust you-i need to look at the big picture and stop looking at this painted picture i have of you in my head-so ive been slowly unveiling your picture that i put away a few years ago, covered and out of view-lately ive been pulling the cover away bit by bit scared as to whats underneath-finally i uncovered it and you know what the painting looks like now?
its the painting i made of you when we met but changed-its blackened not from fire or anything but from disease-you are all alone which is different from the original as you did have your family and me and kayla with you-the old painting you looked happy, the edges were curling and dark but the rest was very beautiful-
the painting now reeks of apathy, cruelty, and laughter-hollow laughter-you are dressed very nicely and have a half smile on your face-this smile is fake-it is only there as a relic of the past when your smile actually meant something and was true-the edges now are torn and the frame is missing-
the canvas is curling not inward on itself but outward, as though it too is trying to escape its own image-
i know you are still in there-i know the painting can change yet again like everything else-i know it will never go back to its original state but i hope it can change to something happier and not so awful to look at-
i will cover it up again and maybe in the distant future i will unveil it and there will be you and kayla and everyone close to you standing next to you again-and your smile wont be forced, it will be genuine-