Oceans Views

[elven ice angel]

Hear the song of the oceans call,
Tranquillity in her pools,
Crashing foams, explicit flow,
Beneath her many jewels.

Fall to ride her perceptive wake,
Let her become your sea,
Take in her beauty, her flawless grace,
And you and her will be.

Or embrace her harsh, delusive ways,
Descend in trance - her Deceit,
Slip a wrong, to spiral down,
And decay in her Defeat.


Hey guys - this is my first day here... hopefully i have posted this in the right forum. I'm still attempting to work out this whole site in a matter of one hour. thanks Torcheredjester for pointing me here. :)

[Territorial Hawk]

Welcome :)

An excellent entrance.

[laleesh]

cheers, angel! this reminds me of how clearly water mirrors emotion. good work!





welcome!
:)
laleesh

[elven ice angel]

Thanks Grey. I loved the way you used flow as a discription for this poem - even if it wasn't intentional with the meaning ment for water flow and flow of the piece. :D You make me smile!

TH - Thanks for the review! I feel loved and welcomed;) Thankou for your help in regards to finding a persons works via there name. Your fantastic!

Laleesh - Wow! what a great review! thanks a lot. it means a lot to me! I agree with water mirroring emotion! spot on mate!

[Michael]

First of all, angel, welcome to AC and to The Nature Forum, the best Nature Forum at AC.

You’ve expressed the paradoxical characteristics of the sea vividly. Handle with care, right?

Your second verse is a pretty good segue between the first and third.
Originally posted by elven ice angel
Or embrace her harsh, delusive ways,
Descend in trance - her Deceit,
Slip a wrong, to spiral down,
And decay in her Defeat.
I do like the alliterative third verse because, well, it’s alliterative and done quite well. There’s also a sort of eerie feeling to it. I’m thinking that’s what you were going for and you attained it.

I hope to see more of your work in the future.

[elven ice angel]

Thankyou Michael! You have great insite and i feel overy honoured that you have reviewed not only this poem, but my other one in the 'dark poetry' format.

Thankyou for the welcome.
:D

You were spot on with what i was trying to acheive. (the feelings and hidden meanings being the peice)

[Sapphire Dawn]

Excellent first posting elven ice angel. Look forward to reading more of your work.

Saph xoxo

[Beki]

NICE PIECE ABOUT MY FAVORITE SUBJECT - I WOULD ONLY ECHO MICHAEL TO SAY MORE :)