nighthawks walking

[laleesh]

the quicksilver light of a halfcycled moon
shuffles through sycamores,
scattered and strewn bright shards
on the yardage
below her.

trees
unsheathe
and freed brittle bark

marks some strange dark passage.

[Territorial Hawk]

Ooh, I like it.

[monkey boy]

Ah, sycamores. Among the loveliest of trees. Curled bark keepsakes for anyone who wants them. They wear the moonlight well, Laleesh!
mb

[Michael]

laleesh, I almost passed this one by. It really sounded lovely when I read it and read it and read it and…well, you get the picture. And it wasn’t because of the pear shaped tones of my voice. :rolleyes: It just flows

The twisting of the dynamics in the first stanza is crafty. The slight of light strobes me.

However, the second stanza is why I almost passed it by. You’ve got me on the tenses and I guess I’m not too proud (or maybe I’m dumb enough) to say I can’t make the connection. :blush:
trees
unsheathe
and freed brittle bark
Could you please explain this stanza to this poor simpleton? I’ve tried, but, as I said, the mixing of the verb tenses prevents me from fully understanding it. I apologize for being so dense.

Naturally, the last line brings that “laleesh riddle” into it, which I don’t mind at all.

Short and sweet, as usual, m’lady.

[laleesh]

michael, i don't mind explaining my work at all. i break all the rules of play with words and more times than not completely miss my marks. i'm thrilled, and honored, when anyone is interested enough to ask :).

in this case, the word "freed" is an adjective. i think you may be reading it as a verb. i'm not totally pleased with the spacing and line breaking in this one either, and that i'm certain is lending to the confusion as well.

trees unsheathe, and freed brittle bark marks some strange dark passage (two shadows scatting through the crisp noisy shavings of bark on the ground; read my reply in monkey boy's poem "three sisters" to see what the sycomores are doing down here!)


thanks for reading and so much for asking,
:)
laleesh

[Michael]

Oh, whoops. Sorry. http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/edoom/theyareontome.gif

[naturalist]

that is absolutely my favorite line that you mentioned above laleesh. mysterious a passage into the unknown adventure, really nice and unique as always. I love the way you make your work your own in the way only you can.

[Beki]

This Is Lovely And Mysterious - I Like It A Lot :)