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ompholos
06-11-2004, 09:23 PM
Strong, still, steadfastly stagnant stands the stone...
stalled, slack, static untold millenium...
ground down by the wind, rain or time alone...
no growth...no advance...only tedium.

The weed sprouts forth growing by leaps and bounds -
never quite content, but sure of his goal.
Opress him and hate him, pound on the ground.
Leaves may be squashed but his roots remain whole.

Water and sun beat down day by day.
While one accepts both pain and gain with wonder
the other blindly ignores drop and ray
until roots split the massive rock asunder.

Life stayed by safety many would advise.
To me the life of a sage seems more wise.


This one's ancient (back when I could count the number of sonnets I'd written on both hands) but I recently reworked it after reading a book on meter.

monkey boy
06-12-2004, 12:50 AM
The patience of weeds and the world in rock-time. Nice comparison and I think the form complements that. I should like to write something in sonnet form sometime - between you and Ivor, there are plenty of good examples here in the AC.
mb

TRexroth
06-13-2004, 01:42 AM
throw out your book on meter,
you are far too intelligent for that,
try the book of experience and image
because you wrote it and you can quote from it,

just a nugget from
trex

naturalist
06-15-2004, 01:29 PM
I agree with rex - I would love to see some of your free write. sonnets are as hard as heck and you did quite a job with this one.

While one accepts both pain and gain with wonder
the other blindly ignores drop and ray
until roots split the massive rock asunder.

what a great word - asunder. I loved the way you complimented this and thought of it's resolve. really nice.

Territorial Hawk
06-16-2004, 03:15 AM
I love it.

ompholos
06-18-2004, 11:43 AM
free verse is tough
I need that master/slave relationship
something to kick my feet against
and occupy my cerebral disposition
so my subconscious can peek through.

the short poems I post in the Haiku
forum are usually raw bits that
come to me while I meditate

otherwise you get abominations such as:

http://www.arcanumcafe.com/community/showthread.php?t=39888

thanks for all your feedback

Poeticpiers
06-18-2004, 12:34 PM
When man and his works have passed away
the humble weed will rule the world.Weeds pay
but small attention to man but do what they
were born to do grow quietly but everyday