View Full Version : post svanisthana
laleesh
02-22-2007, 09:58 PM
spring struts
brazen,
no pious wife.
jiggles
a tassled ***
at life.
the whole world wiggles free
to be her lover.
:)
laleesh
CopperStone
02-23-2007, 12:31 AM
hmm nice imagery, I'm thinking lots of round buxom fruit... but would that perhaps be autumn... pears and peaches... oh its summer and spring and all delights rolling forth...
But the final image is perfect, those buds wriggling up from the ground to offer their devotions with flowers and all pretty things to tempt her
laleesh
02-23-2007, 10:45 AM
actually, copperstone, i shouldn't have posted this poem - the censor got me, and the word i substituted just doesn't make the poem work at all.
"her tasseled goodies" SUCKS, literally.
the original was "a tasseled ***, the crude three-letter word for "breast". it depicted spring more bawdy, brazen, lustful, fecund and fruitful, gushing out of her corpse pose, or winter rest. not a pious, modest thing.
"her tassled goodies"!!!!!! i'm ashamed!
what a mess!
:)
laleesh
ahh spring fever
the urge to merge
rekindles
CopperStone
02-24-2007, 07:20 PM
No the idea is good actually and certainly is fresh to see a more buxom take on spring as she is too often still the waifish innocent... and spring is indeed the time for mating so no I do rather like the idea and the original phrasing I think does keep it in line with spring, the way it had first posted did seem more basketful of fruitlike handing out the produce of springs dalliances...
Poeticpiers
03-05-2007, 07:08 PM
Auto censors are programmed idiots who cant undertstand the necessity of crudity at times
naturalist
03-25-2007, 01:59 PM
yeahhhh....
great work laleesh!
Norman Anderson
03-26-2007, 02:12 AM
tassled goodies works for me
What can I say...I like it....
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