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Dopamine Overload

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Posted 07-02-2011 at 12:03 AM by LadyBukowski

So if you go, take these words with you,
"It never goes away, just stays in a hidden place, in a ghost scent on your pillow, a girl who looks like I used to. I will be in a dream you won't remember, just wake up in a cold sweat for which you cannot account."
Even the shadows will have my face, and this holds, it seems, for more years than I ever could have imagined. The old loves, they fade, the old scars heal, and the new loves cover over everything else, but someday, everyone will always be alone.
In your skin, as mine, as everyone's, only you reside. The guests leave a trail, leave the sensation that you are somewhere that they have been before. I can only imagine, having been inside someone's flesh would feel the same.
There is nothing glorious, there is nothing regal about love as I have ever seen it. It is disgusting, degrading, and almost always hurts in the end, if it was true, if you're not one of the lucky ones with the capacity to believe the hormone imbalances would last forever. That first flush, the one I still feel, is what leaves us with the pain in the end, because for a while it feels as if you are a part of something more than yourself. Admirable and vital to civilization as those feelings may be, they are simply the product of estrogen, testosterone, dopamine, but the thing is, I already reproduced, met my biological imperative. So why is it I still feel this way? Even knowing these feelings may be temporary, you can't control your own chemistry and God knows I have tried. This will be nothing in the end, infatuation for it's own sake, to see if I can believe, see if there is anything left in me that can still believe. It turns out there isn't really, simply hormones and neurochemicals telling me, this is what I need. This is my body and my mind telling me, that whatever the chances, you will always be a part of me............. (loop as desired)
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  1. Old Comment
    tony schofield's Avatar
    What an intriguing write m'lady. All down to hormones? of course not. You're talking about eros, but it's also balanced by agape, the conviction that love is an imperative, it's what we feel we ought to do - a kind of imperative. Feeling reinforced by intellect perhaps. But it also makes us do stupid things - dopeymone?
    Posted 07-07-2011 at 04:31 PM by tony schofield tony schofield is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Accute_Pyro's Avatar
    it always sounds smart to say
    "look before you leap"
    but when it comes to love or lust
    anyone rarely does

    nice write
    Posted 07-20-2011 at 12:55 AM by Accute_Pyro Accute_Pyro is offline
  3. Old Comment
    green's Avatar
    Sweet write Enjoy the ride, it's all there is.
    Posted 07-27-2011 at 02:14 AM by green green is offline
  4. Old Comment
    e-piph[lol]'s Avatar
    Posted 06-11-2012 at 11:07 PM by e-piph[lol] e-piph[lol] is offline
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