I don't fully understand what happened, it doesn't sound right that's for sure. Like I posted, you have to do what is right for you, screw what anybody else thinks. You're a hell of a poet and always will be in my book.
just now...noticed your pictures...the last one...made me smile...for my thought was: she is attempting to eat her sole....heehee! it rang, quite clearly within the drums of pelts...felt ;-)
hope you feel better bro. eat your veggies, exercise, watch your sodium intake, drink plenty of water, quit smoking, no more junk food, call your mother, calm down, count those carbs, no fried foods...
AUUUUGGGHH!!